Just Jessica Hernandez.

My awesome Tagline

557,893 notes

Socialism:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture:
'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism:
You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist:
You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism:
You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation:
You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia:
You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA:
You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat:
You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie:
You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney:
You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler:
You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice:
You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation:
You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr:
You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr:
I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale:
You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Tom Hiddleston:
You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
Thranduil:
You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
Dwarves:
You had two cows but now they're on fire.
Bilbo Baggins:
You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
Cows:
The shit you go through.
This post:
Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

3,962 notes

thetomska:

tiorickyaoi:

I’m sick of people wrongly defining bisexuality. It’s not ‘attraction to both men and women’ it’s about being attracted to ‘bi’ things like bicycles, binoculars, bilinguals and binary coding smh

So glad someone finally cleared this up.

89,332 notes

brimerica:

What tumblr users really need to stop doing:

• post information that isn’t final and demand immediate actions
• abuse the petition system because stop
• send anon hate
•bully people for misinformation
• bully celebrities
•bully people for opinions
•BULLY PERIOD
•STOP BEING A BUNCH OF OFFENDED PUSSIES WHO EXPECT EVERYTHING TO NOT BE TRIGGERING AND EASY FOR THEM AND FOR EVERYONE TO AGREE WITH THEM BECAUSE LIFE ISN’T EASY AND A LITTLE HARDSHIP ISN’T A BAD THING GOD

(via andsoicalledherocean)

33,718 notes

ted:

Adrianne Haslet-Davis dances again for the first time since the Boston terrorist attack last year. 

When the bombs went off at the Boston Marathon finish line, Adrianne Haslet-Davis lost the lower half of her left leg in the explosion. She’s a ballroom dance teacher, and she assumed she would never dance again. With most prosthetics, she wouldn’t.

But Hugh Herr, of the MIT Media Lab, wanted to find a way to help her. He created a bionic limb specifically for dancers, studying the way they move and adapting the limb to fit their motion. (He explains how he did it here.)

At TED2014, Adrianne danced for the first time since the attack, wearing the bionic limb that Hugh created for her.  

Hugh says, “It was 3.5 seconds between the bomb blasts in the Boston terrorist attack. In 3.5 seconds, the criminals and cowards took Adrianne off the dance floor. In 200 days, we put her back. We will not be intimidated, brought down, diminished, conquered or stopped by acts of violence.”

Amen to that, Hugh. 

Watch the full talk and performance here »

(via firewithinyou)

2,615 notes

smallspecialcollections:

Ooh la la! This beautiful little bookcase from the 1890s is from the LIndemann miniature book collection. The ten volumes have original colored glazed paper wrappers and gilt stamped titles on front and spine. A small gilt decoration is stamped on back of each, at the center. All are housed in a worn brocade-covered Louis XV-style bookcase with beveled glass door and cloth-covered shelves.All books have the title-page imprint “Paris 1896” and colophon “Paris, Imp. Pairault & Cie.” (Lindemann 05745).

smallspecialcollections:

Ooh la la! This beautiful little bookcase from the 1890s is from the LIndemann miniature book collection. The ten volumes have original colored glazed paper wrappers and gilt stamped titles on front and spine. A small gilt decoration is stamped on back of each, at the center. All are housed in a worn brocade-covered Louis XV-style bookcase with beveled glass door and cloth-covered shelves.All books have the title-page imprint “Paris 1896” and colophon “Paris, Imp. Pairault & Cie.” (Lindemann 05745).

877 notes

rubyetc:

also whilst I’m here I wanna talk about all the delicious nonsense they put in bath stuff for women. Like what, cake is ‘bad’; ice cream is ‘naughty’; eat half a bowl of special k instead of a meal; but go wild with chocolate cream sparkle sugar fairy bath bombs! There is a hidden agenda, the bubbles are tainted..tainted with the undertones of a pig-ignorant diet culture

(Source: rubyetc)